Salute to Gretchen

I am in Santa Cruz today, hoping to go surfing later if the waves get a bit bigger. I just got back from a stroll on the beach, checking out the surf. While down there I saw a large pelican sitting majestically amongst a flock of seagulls like a god amongst mere men. I was drawn in by his regal stature so I walked closer. As I rounded in front of him, I noticed a severely broken wing draped by his left side. A tragic twist of perception that left me feeling quite sorry for this beautiful bird.

Soon I realized that I'm in California which is probably the animal protection/rights capital of the world. I called 411 and got the number for the Native Animals Protection Agency (I think that's what it's called). The dispatcher on the line said she would send someone out right away and 5 minute later Gretchen was there with her net, towel, and cardboard box. Brought together by a common cause we made eye contact, said a few words, and then did what needed to be done. Gretchen took the towel and tossed it on the bird as it snapped at her with its long pointed beak. It was as poetic as it was tragic. Gretchen began to cry as her sympathy for the bird overwhelmed her - she realized that she would most likely have to euthanize him because of the severity of the break.

We stood up and parted ways. Fighting back tears she thanked me for making the call. I thanked her for the important work she does.

A walk to forget

Today I was walking north up 8th street in Soma, checking out the shops and watching my back. I was being extra attentive because at one point this shitty Astro van with tinted windows drove right in front of me on their way to a gas station and they were blasting some rap song with the lyrics "I drink, I smoke... don't get it twisted pimpin' this a hood dance." They were screaming the lyrics and staring at me as they rolled deep into the absolute pimpinest place in town: the Shell gas station on 8th and Harrison. (side note: what's up with that attitude anyway?)

NEXT: I turn left on 8th and am looking for the 19 bus but can't find a stop. During my search I came across one of the most ridiculous things I have ever seen. Two men sitting in a bright blue Honda Matrix and a third was leaning on driver's side door. At first glance it was an innocent enough affair, maybe a riveting conversation about global politics or something. At second glance, I realize with horror that the driver has his hand wrapped around the third guy's ass and is performing an enthusastic fellatio on this man. As I walk by, I distinctly hear 'yeah, that's how I like it." ... I didn't need a third glance.

Less than a mile later, now north of Market in the tenderloin, something entirely random and unexpected happens. Walking up a hill on Hyde I'm looking around and taking in the scene of liquor stores and XXX shops when all of the sudden about 30 feet in front of me a man falls off a two story ladder and lands on the sidewalk feet first. The metal ladder actually folded on him, causing the fall. He stood right up but was visibly shaken, other people were closer and were able to rush to his aid before I was able to. Craziness.

Scale Model Tug

I was out for a stroll/run in Golden Gate Park today and came across quite a unique spectacle: "The San Francisco Model Yacht Club's Tug and Barge Competition." At first glance it seemed like an ad hoc gathering of hobbyists, but upon further investigation I uncovered an entire underworld of model yacht enthusiasts whose worlds seem to revolve around this glorious remote-controlled specactle.

The gist of it all: they set up a course in the pond using orange pylons and various configurations of floating PVC pipe. The boats (of which there were hundreds) then navigate through this coarse while pushing hefty loads of stone. One boat no larger than a shoe box was pushing 250 pounds of pebbles with ease. There was also a sailboat, and a speedboat, and a little kid who made a sword out of tree bark. Thankfully, he refrained from killing anyone with said sword.

SF Model yacht club: http://www.sfmyc.org

The Giant Sunglass Phenemenon

This is a generic sociological inquiry... WHAT'S THE DEAL WITH THE GIANT SUNGLASSES? I think they are a great leveler of attractiveness. People who are a bit lacking in this field can just slap on the biggest Dolce & Gabana or Gucci glasses and cover 1/3 of their ugly faces. I just bought some of these to cover my ugly face so I know it's true. Something about seeing shiny plastic on someone's face just does something to our inner animal that leaves us gasping for air at our intense love for that face. Maybe it's a symmetry thing? Maybe I'm exaggerating?

Friday at Notre Dame

It's been over two years since I was last on campus at Notre Dame, and drawing very near three full years since I was on campus on a football weekend. Even after these few years, football weekends here are the same - mad! Football weekends provide some fine opportunities for people watching, as people from all over the country and the world flock to this one location for one purpose: the celebration of ND Football!

Since arriving yesterday morning, I've encountered many different characters. From a librarian who, upon seeing me, whipped out a stack of three-year-old Notre Dame paystubs to see if she still had mine; to parents reuniting with their children over dinner; to the starry eyed visitor whose only real connection to the campus is their love of Notre Dame. At the moment, I'm sitting in the LaFortune student center drinking a pumpkin spice latte and writing this. Sitting next to me is a very diligent student who is making every effort to study as much as possible on this football Friday. I can't quite make out what she's working on, but it is something mathematical and appears to involve vectors. She is engrossed in her study to the point that she is having rather detailed conversations with herself about what she is doing. This conversation seems to involve questions about how to proceed, answers about the appropriate formulas or rules, and commentary on the solutions she writes.

Well, it's off to some more great people watching. Lots on the plate in that area for today and tomorrow!

What drugs do to people

Tonight I was down in the Mission, near Valencia and 24th, and this white monte carlo came flying down the street swerving from left to right coming dangerously close to cars parked on both sides of the road. I was in one of those cars and it sort of freaked me out a bit. The car continued up the road and straight through a 4 way stop at about 30 mph. The stop was in the middle of a hill so it has low visibility from all angles to begin with. Anyway, this asshole could have killed someone. Could have been me. He must have been on speed, right?

... 20 minute later I'm at Market and Church. There is a guy wandering aimlessly in the middle of the intersection as cars are speeding by all over the place. His arms are spread like he's a bird taking off for flight. It was almost poetic, but mostly just confusing. What's running through this dude's mind?

The Trust Fund Guy

I was at the Grove Cafe on Fillmore using their internet, drinking coffee, etc. After finishing several e-mails and reading some news I was a bit bored but wasn't quite ready to leave since I had paid for an entire day of WiFi. Enter the scene, table next to mine: 3 people in their mid-twenties. It's noon and they walk up with a giant bottle of beer and an enormous bloody mary. Two were girls - one blonde girl originally from Kiev (Ukraine) and one American of some Asian descent. Then the dude rolls in and immediately strikes up a convo.

"So, you like that Powerbook?" I tell him, in fact "yes, I love this computer." He laments his problems with his Mac, but is happy about the customer service of Apple. Good stuff so far. He introduces me to the girls, I ask "how are you?" Then the weirdness starts. He says "be careful about asking that question, or she might send you an invoice." It took me a second to get it... Next, he uses every opportunity possible to let me know that he slept with both of these girls at the same time last night. This was awkward for everyone but him and he spared no detail: "Waking up next to these ladies buck naked next to me, it was like two blinding beams of sunshine in my bed." ... "This one here (points at Asian girl) is a germ freak, she brought her own can of lysol to the festivities and keeps herself clean. This one here (points to the other) is like a damn pigpin, like on Charlie Brown. She has dust clouds and shit floating over her head. Not like a halo or anything, but with flies, and, and (short pause), must. She's great though, you're never gonna believe this, but this girl lactates chocolate milk. It's a beautiful thing."

... I'm sorry? Did I somehow indicate to you that I wanted to hear some rant about your sex life?

The situation was increasingly awkward. I noticed that my computer battery is getting low - I had my out. I ask him "how'd you get yourself into that situation with these two?" His instant reply: "I've got a trust fund and a big [expletive deleted]." This comment pushes the limit, and by the grace of God my computer goes blank as the battery dies. I use it as an excuse to go find an outlet. "You need an outlet?" he says, "these two girls..." I'm sure his parents are proud.

The questions this brought up in my head:
1) Why did this guy feel the need to bring me, and probably everyone else sitting around me, into his personal life in such a way? (referencing genetalia, etc...)
2) What is he trying to prove, if anything?
3) Is this sort of stuff really that common (the threesome thing, and also bringing it up in detail with a complete stranger)??
4) Am I just a naive country boy from Indiana?

The Premise

People watching is something I love and the SF Bay Area is a gold mine for it. In the few days that I've been here so far I've been amazed by the quirkiness and diversity of people I've encountered out here. My tentavtive theory is that folks who don't really fit in anywhere else in the U.S. tend to gravitate to the western throes of the continent, eventually ending up in the SF area. I count myself in this group and am sure that people are watching me too and thinking I'm a bit off. Maybe even at this very moment... most likely.

This blog is not about making fun of people, it's about celebrating our differences and finding the fun in the stuff people do that might seem ridiculous to us but completely normal to them (and vice versa). SO, let's be tactful folks.

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